Relieve Anxiety & Discover Peace with a Simple Perspective Shift

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The first thing to understand about anxiety is that the problem isn't that you're feeling anxious. Or at least, it’s not only that you’re feeling anxious.

Feeling anxiety is a normal part of the human experience. 

The problem begins when you try to stop feeling anxious. When you try to suppress it. When you try to distract yourself from feeling it. When you try to control everything around you in order to prevent situations where you might feel it.

In my experience, the quickest way out is through. And "through" doesn't have to be as terrible as you might think.

How is that? It's because anxiety is not just a feeling. We talk about feeling anxious, but we know that our thoughts are a big part of the anxious experience.

My goal is that by the end of this article, you will begin to believe that you can feel the anxiety and still be okay. 

How do you do that? 

First, remember to stop the struggle.

The more intensely you resist and close your heart and shove the feelings down, the more intense the anxious feelings become. I have an article all about stopping the struggle, which will be linked in the description below.

Second, shift your perspective.

I first heard this approach from Drew Linslata, the host of The Anxious Truth podcast. 

He pointed out that usually in life, we say “I feel because…” meaning something happens that causes a feeling. There’s an event, a cause, and the effect is the feeling. 

A simple example would be: “I feel sad (the resulting pure emotion) because I broke my favorite coffee cup (the cause).” 

An example that has to do with anxiety would be more like: “I’m feeling anxious (the resulting pure emotion) because I’m having anxious thoughts (the cause).” 

Can it really be that simple? In the moment of feeling anxious, yes, it really can be that simple. This is the first step toward some of the causes of anxiety, of which there are a few. But in my experience, patterns of thinking are always involved in some level. So that’s what we’re working with right now.

So, using “I feel because” statements can help. “I feel anxious because I’m having anxious thoughts.”

That might sound overly simplistic or redundant, but it’s actually what happening, isn’t it?

The point is that it gets us out of the typical pattern of anxious thoughts, which is: “I feel; therefore…” 

For example: “I feel anxious; therefore, something bad is about to happen.” 

So now we’re looking and waiting for something bad to happen. 

How many times have you thought that way when you’re feeling anxious? If you’re like me, then it’s 100% of the time. This is a deep, fundamental pattern of thinking, and all it takes to change it is a little awareness and a little practice.

This is where the saying comes from: “Anxiety is a symptom in search of a disease.” Or a condition in search of a problem.

Our instinctual, evolutionary programming pushes our attention to our body and environment. Our mind says to us: "There must be a reason out there for what I'm feeling in here."

It’s a natural assumption to make.

In essence, we’re trying to put meaning into our feelings. We’re asking: “What does this feeling mean about my body, about the future, about my environment?” 

When a character in a story says, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this," they are really saying, "I feel; therefore…"

So try switching to “I feel because…” the next time you’re feeling anxious, and let me know how it goes.

For example, “I’m feeling afraid because I’m having anxious thoughts.” 

That’s true. That’s really what is happening. 

The anxiety is not predicting the future. Anxiety is a total mind and body experience that includes feelings, thoughts, perspectives, physiological sensations and symptoms, and more.

Anxiety will naturally - on its own - fade away over time. But we often don’t let it fade.

Why? Because our thoughts keep it going. If you keep thinking: “I feel anxious; therefore, something bad is going to happen,” you’re telling your mind and body to stay alert, to stay anxious, and be ready for whatever "bad thing" is coming.

Once you switch to: “I feel because…”, you take the focus off the future and put it on the thing that is perpetuating the anxiety: the thoughts. When the mind and body don't have to stay vigilant for any "bad things" coming at them, they will begin to relax.

Affirmations

Let’s breathe and repeat some affirmations. 

Remember that even if you’re not feeling anxious right now, treat this as practice. It’s best to practice when you’re calm so that you can use them when you’re not so calm. 

What makes this difficult is that when we’re feeling good, we don’t want to practice. We don’t want to be reminded that we sometimes feel anxious or uncomfortable. But when you really need these skills, these affirmations, you will be so happy that you took the time to remember them and build healthy thought patterns with them. 

First, let yourself feel whatever is present in your heart as you take a slow, deep breath in. Slowly release the breath and remember that you can feel all of the feelings and still be okay. Give your feelings room to exist without making them mean anything about the future.

Repeat after me: 

• “I’m feeling anxious because I'm having anxious thoughts.” 

• “I can let go of the struggle and relax my body.” 

• “I don’t like this feeling, but I allow it to exist.” 

• “I can feel the anxiety and still be okay.” 

Thank you for watching. 

Be well. 

And take good care.